so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
