i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
