Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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