she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
