and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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