He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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