your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
