White coat. Heels.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
