Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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