This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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