I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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