This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
