Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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