community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
