I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
