so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
