You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i came on her dog
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
