so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
