that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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