so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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