you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
