Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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