my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
high people should be assigned attendants
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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