I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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