Got a toothbrush?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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