its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
