when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
