I have demons in me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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