i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize