yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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