She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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