can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
