Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
