ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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