I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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