Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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