I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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