you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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