Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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