i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon