All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
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So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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