pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
