Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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