Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
