If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
