whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
