question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
