things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
