This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize