Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
