They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
