Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
