So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
