im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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