i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
