do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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