i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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