When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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