hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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